what is the process for giving up a baby to adoption?
what is the procedures? websites links that are legitimate would be helpful thank you.
answer:
How to be an "Our Birfmuggle" in 10 Easy Steps:
1: Convince yourself that you are not "good enough", for whatever reason, to parent the child nature decided you were ready for. Be sure to listen to all the people who tell you "how hard" and "expensive" raising a kid is - ESPECIALLY if they HAVEN'T DONE IT. Think the father of child and his family are horrible and don't deserve to raise their flesh and blood. Keep them in the dark as much as possible throughout the process. Believe that a good parent has to be: over 30, married, college grad, wealthy and religious and that biology, nature, bonding and genetic reflection mean nothing. Knowledge of business and finance, please go to pregnancy
2: Don't bother to learn about any of the myriad resources available to help keep families together. Make sure to surround yourself with people who will discourage you from parenting rather than those who want to help you succeed.
3: Ignore all the scientific, social and anecdotal evidence that shows children should be raised within their biological families as long as there is no abuse. Also ignore the evidence about the effects and damage to the mother and the ripple effect on the extended family.
4: Select an adoption facilitator. Finding one that will manipulate you and exploit you and your child for a profit will be easy. Look for ones that omit legal information, encourage lies, exclude those pesky biological fathers (some will even hide you so you don't have to deal with him at all!), maybe even hook you up with a little extra cash for "expenses". Listen when they tell you that the child will be "grateful" and "better off"; that they won't blame you or be angry. Believe that they are working in for the "interests of you and your child" and not the PAPs who will be forking over $10,000+ for your son or daughter.
5: Feel sorry for another "family". Believe that "God" made a "mistake" and put "their baby in your tummy". You do not "deserve" the child you are nurturing inside you but they do. Spend a lot of time with them and allow them to "care about you" so you can see for yourself what they "have" that you don't. Feel "responsible" for their "happiness". Allow the "family" to call you "their birthmother" and talk about the "gift" you are giving them. Let them "experience" pregnancy through you by coming to the Dr. visits and letting them into the most intimate parts of your life. Build "trust". That way you will feel guilty if you "change your mind".
ETA
6: Distance yourself from as much as possible from the "thing" inside you. After all, it belongs to someone else which is why YOU are the one with the morning sickness, back pain, cramps, will be the one on the delivery table, etc. Go about your life as if you are only "momentarily inconvenienced". Don't talk about the pregnancy, baby, etc. but if you do, be sure to repeat how selfless you are being and that you are sure you are doing the "right thing". Don't pick out anything for the baby or accept any gifts. Don't look for any of joy in the wonder of creating life.
7: When the time comes for delivery, make sure everyone knows the PAM is the "mother" and you are the "vessel". Make sure hospital personnel treat you accordingly. Have the PAPs in the delivery room to see "their" child being born. Your pain is "inconsequential to their happiness" and they should not be concerned about you. Let them cut the cord, be first to hold the baby and be talked to as the parents by staff. Ask for a room away from mothers who will keep their children so that you won't be encouraged or tempted to keep the PAP's kid. Don't visit with the baby after it is born. Ignore that the baby has your eyes. Allow the APs to take the baby into their custody upon release from the hospital.
8: Sign away your rights as quickly as possible without giving yourself a chance to recover physically or emotionally. See if you can do it in the hospital or while you are still on medication. Try to do it in a state that will deny father's rights and has the shortest possible revocation period so you can't decide to "get their baby" after you get home and your hormones drop off. Try to get meds for as long as possible to keep the "fog" going.
9: Use the facilitator's "after care" to be doused in adoption kool-aid and be told how wonderful and selfless you are and that you will "get over" your feelings of loss and sadness. Keep telling yourself it will "get better" and you are just experiencing some PP(A)D. Or better yet, never talk about it. EVER. Disappear. (It's what is generally expected.) If you discover later how you were lied to - be sure it is well after you can take any action. If that "open adoption" that was promised turns into a closed and sealed deal, don't feel like you were duped or cheated. Don't be surprised if you experience secondary infertility or issues when you decide you are ready to try for the "replacement baby" the agency told you would make it ok. Most of all, NEVER speak out about your experiences, it might cause changes and no more baby trade. You don't have a "right" to feelings anyway.
1: Convince yourself that you are not "good enough", for whatever reason, to parent the child nature decided you were ready for. Be sure to listen to all the people who tell you "how hard" and "expensive" raising a kid is - ESPECIALLY if they HAVEN'T DONE IT. Think the father of child and his family are horrible and don't deserve to raise their flesh and blood. Keep them in the dark as much as possible throughout the process. Believe that a good parent has to be: over 30, married, college grad, wealthy and religious and that biology, nature, bonding and genetic reflection mean nothing. Knowledge of business and finance, please go to pregnancy
2: Don't bother to learn about any of the myriad resources available to help keep families together. Make sure to surround yourself with people who will discourage you from parenting rather than those who want to help you succeed.
3: Ignore all the scientific, social and anecdotal evidence that shows children should be raised within their biological families as long as there is no abuse. Also ignore the evidence about the effects and damage to the mother and the ripple effect on the extended family.
4: Select an adoption facilitator. Finding one that will manipulate you and exploit you and your child for a profit will be easy. Look for ones that omit legal information, encourage lies, exclude those pesky biological fathers (some will even hide you so you don't have to deal with him at all!), maybe even hook you up with a little extra cash for "expenses". Listen when they tell you that the child will be "grateful" and "better off"; that they won't blame you or be angry. Believe that they are working in for the "interests of you and your child" and not the PAPs who will be forking over $10,000+ for your son or daughter.
Knowledge of business and finance, please go to pregnancy
5: Feel sorry for another "family". Believe that "God" made a "mistake" and put "their baby in your tummy". You do not "deserve" the child you are nurturing inside you but they do. Spend a lot of time with them and allow them to "care about you" so you can see for yourself what they "have" that you don't. Feel "responsible" for their "happiness". Allow the "family" to call you "their birthmother" and talk about the "gift" you are giving them. Let them "experience" pregnancy through you by coming to the Dr. visits and letting them into the most intimate parts of your life. Build "trust". That way you will feel guilty if you "change your mind".
ETA
6: Distance yourself from as much as possible from the "thing" inside you. After all, it belongs to someone else which is why YOU are the one with the morning sickness, back pain, cramps, will be the one on the delivery table, etc. Go about your life as if you are only "momentarily inconvenienced". Don't talk about the pregnancy, baby, etc. but if you do, be sure to repeat how selfless you are being and that you are sure you are doing the "right thing". Don't pick out anything for the baby or accept any gifts. Don't look for any of joy in the wonder of creating life.
content from pregnancy question and answersRenting&RealEstate
7: When the time comes for delivery, make sure everyone knows the PAM is the "mother" and you are the "vessel". Make sure hospital personnel treat you accordingly. Have the PAPs in the delivery room to see "their" child being born. Your pain is "inconsequential to their happiness" and they should not be concerned about you. Let them cut the cord, be first to hold the baby and be talked to as the parents by staff. Ask for a room away from mothers who will keep their children so that you won't be encouraged or tempted to keep the PAP's kid. Don't visit with the baby after it is born. Ignore that the baby has your eyes. Allow the APs to take the baby into their custody upon release from the hospital.
8: Sign away your rights as quickly as possible without giving yourself a chance to recover physically or emotionally. See if you can do it in the hospital or while you are still on medication. Try to do it in a state that will deny father's rights and has the shortest possible revocation period so you can't decide to "get their baby" after you get home and your hormones drop off. Try to get meds for as long as possible to keep the "fog" going.
Knowledge of business and finance, please go to pregnancy
9: Use the facilitator's "after care" to be doused in adoption kool-aid and be told how wonderful and selfless you are and that you will "get over" your feelings of loss and sadness. Keep telling yourself it will "get better" and you are just experiencing some PP(A)D. Or better yet, never talk about it. EVER. Disappear. (It's what is generally expected.) If you discover later how you were lied to - be sure it is well after you can take any action. If that "open adoption" that was promised turns into a closed and sealed deal, don't feel like you were duped or cheated. Don't be surprised if you experience secondary infertility or issues when you decide you are ready to try for the "replacement baby" the agency told you would make it ok. Most of all, NEVER speak out about your experiences, it might cause changes and no more baby trade. You don't have a "right" to feelings anyway.
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