Ok, I'm getting really frustrated here, someone ple

Ok, I'm getting really frustrated here, someone please help! I'd love to hear an adoptee's perspective?
Here's my story..I'll try to keep it as short as possible. I'm 27 and my husband is 25. He never wanted kids and I knew this before we got married. It wasnt a problem then because I didnt either. But then 2 years later my biological clock started ticking and all my friends started having babies and i started feeling like i was missing something. Also, both me and my husband are only children and so I have a very small family and I'm worried about the future, being lonely when we grow old with no family. I've become very depressed and obsessed about it lately. I've tried telling my husband about this but he still does not want to have children of our own because 1. he doesn't want to add to the overpopulated planet. 2. both he and i have mental illness in our family history, his dad is bipolar and uncle was skitzophrenic.my fam has anxiety, depression and ocd issues. he doesn't want to pass on those genes to a child. 3. he doesn't want the responsibilty of having a child right now, he just finished law school and doesn't even have a job yet plus we had a dream of traveling the world together..but i'm already 27 so by the time we finished our traveling and such i would probably be too old to have a baby without risks of birth defects plus he doesnt want to have one ourselves anyways b/c of all the other reasons i just mentioned. So, I was super upset last night and after much discussion he agreed to adopting a baby or toddler with me when I'm around 45 if I still felt this void in my life and need for children and a family. to understand my frustration, please read the other 2 questions i posted on here today and the answers i got: and Careers_Employment pregnancy.yifei8.netParenting

see the answers? when i asked if someone could share experiences of being happily adopted because i'm scared i will just be abandoned by a child i adopt, some one said: "No no no!!........please think about it carefully. If the reason you want to adopt is bc of the illness, please remember that at least 80% ofthe children in the system all have mental issues going on. Whether it bc of genetics or just that fact that they have gone through so much. Your chances are far greater of getting a child with mental issues by adopting than taking the chance of having one of your own. If you do decide to have your own, and he/she doesend up with a condition, at least you will have to deal with YOUR child, not someone elses!
Source(s):
Worked with the system 8yrs and adopted 3 whom I am greatly paying the consequences for now =("

then i asked about closed adoptions because think about it, you may think i'm selfish but how would YOU feel if you couldnt have your own children because the love of your life didnt want to, your only choice was adoption, you felt a nagging need to have a family because you have NO siblings, neices, nephews, only 2 cousins, and a mom (my dad is out of the pic since my parents split up when i was 6 so thats even less family i have), and hardly any friends because i'm super shy..so the last thing i need is to adopt a child, go through all the effort and time of raising them, becoming emotionally attatched to them because they are my only family now and then one day they up and decide to abandon me for their birth parents. they get mad and say "i'm going to live with my REAL mother". that is my greatest fear. so thats why i went and asked about closed adoptions and then if you read the answers to that one, people are saying: "I was a victim of a closed adoption, but if I'd've found out my afam. had deliberately kept it closed when it could've and should've been open, then too damn right I'd abandon my afam. like they MADE my bfam. do to me by closing the adoption." and " If you don't wany any "drama" from those "pesky birf parents" then mabe you should rethink your motives for wanting to adopt. When you adopt you cannot conveniently forget that the child has two sets of parents not just one. What if your child wanted to search for their other parents once they were old enough? How would you feel about that?" content from pregnancy question and answersRenting&RealEstate

so what am i supposed to do? just resign myself to never having a family? whenever i say i cant have bio children people say, oh you should adopt, then when i look into adoption, all these adoptees come out and say they wouldve rather been aborted and adoption screws everyone up. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! HELP!!!!
answer:
There is nothing wrong with you adopting. There are a lot of kids out there that needs a loving home, a stable home. People on these sites are very rude, sometimes i don't even understand why they are here being all negative, etc. Adoption is a GREAT THING & don't let anyone tell you different. Some open adoption, the birth mother receives pictures, letters & visits to the child. And the others are semi-open, where there you will have minimum contact with the birth mother. There are a lot of different options out there. Go & check out: adoption.com! There's alot of information there.

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