Biological mother back for daughter?

Biological mother back for daughter?
My sister had a younger friend who had a baby (out of marriage) around the same time she did, but unforunately couldn't support the baby since her boyfriend left her. she was going to give her up for adoption but my sister offered to adopt her. they went through all the legal stuff and my sister's friend was really happy with everything. due to some circumstances, a few months later she had to move away but told my sister she would keep in touch. we never heard from her again.

many years passed, the baby grew up, etc. the trouble is her biological mother showed up in town just one week ago causing a bit of a stir. she insists on having my sister's daughter (that is how i think of her) back saying she is her real mother. but my sister is the one who has brought her up for so many years, treating her equal to her other 3 kids. we've all grown so close to her and my sister is willing to fight to keep her.....but the question is, is it right to keep this girl from her biological mother? its Bio mom vs. mom who has raised her so far.....what do you think?
answer:
Ms. M,
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Most adopted people realize that they have two sets of parents. Why does it have to be one mother vs the other mother?

Can't the two mothers work together and both love the child? The child loves them both and needs love from them both. Why not look at this from the child's perspective?

Those are my thoughts......

Source(s):

adoptive mom
if the girl is was given up and legally adopted, the bio mother has no standing. it would be up to the adoptive parents whether they think this would be a constructive step for the child or not at this stage.
Well your sister is her mother!! Not the one who left and you never heard from her again..
As long as the adoption was legalized, the bio mother has absolutely no right to do anything. Your sister needs to simply tell her that she understands her pain, and appreciates her contribution to her family, but this is her child now. Maybe they can work out some sort of visitation or 'open adoption', but the child is rightfully your sisters, and any woman who would want to uproot a child from everything s/he knows to go with a stranger (Which is what the bio mother is) clearly isn't thinking about the child's best interest.

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If she's really causing issues, get a lawyer.
tell your sister to put a restraining order against her. your sister is her real mother and the situation sounds like it could quickly get out of control
If they went through all the "legal stuff" that means the baby legally belongs to your sister.
I know you're thinking about whats best for the child when it comes to deciding rather or not give her back to her biological mother... but is it really best for the child to give her to someone who could not support her in the first place. Even though the boyfriend left her, he should have still paid child support.
Not to mention.. In that child's mind, her mother IS your sister. It would cause confusion if she handed her over to her real mother and she had to start a whole new life. She would really miss the mother who raised her after a week or two. I really think your sister should keep her. The biological mother wanted to give her up for adoption to a random stranger anyway!! she made her decision.
Woman who birthed her and never contacted her VS woman who adopted her and loved her as her own...not a tough choice. Your sister is the ONLY mother and to rip her child from her would hurt the daughter as much as her. She should NOT give her back, and won't be legally required to. Two words. RESTRAINING ORDER!!!
I think the Bio mom should have supervised visitation, but custody remains with her adoptive mom.

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Yes, the child should have a relationship with her biological mother. (As long as such won't scare, confuse or otherwise harm the child. Visitation ends if bio mom can't handle that)

NO bio mom doesn't get to yank everyone's chain like this. No, you can't just pull a child away from the only home she's ever known. No, you can't decide years after an adoption is legally finalized that you've changed your mind.

If she had decided to raise the girl, she wouldn't be allowed to put it up for adoption years later - so she's not allowed to reverse the adoption at this point.

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